Cat Beats Professional Wealth Managers

“I cashed in my stinking shares for silver”


Professional wealth managers have long been criticised for charging more than their services are actually worth.

But getting routed by an animal that spends 20 hours a day either asleep or scratching itself is a new low.

In a recent stock-picking challenge, the UK Observer newspaper pitted a trio of investment managers against two groups of amateurs: a handful of high school students, and a house cat named Orlando.

The cat won.

Each team started the year with £5000 ($A7621) in capital to invest in five companies from the FTSE All-Share index. After each quarter, they could swap out whatever stocks they chose, if any.

While the two-legged participants picked stocks the old-fashioned way, Orlando chose by tossing a toy mouse onto a grid of numbers that designated different companies.

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9 comments on “Cat Beats Professional Wealth Managers

    Fire the wealth managers hire the fat cat. 🙂

  2. susan says:

    gives us paws for thought…

  3. OlympiaLogger says:


    …cats are better babe magnets than dogs.

  4. snoop diddy says:

    says it all really,
    fund managers just keep churning rebalancing with S&P top 100s or 200 or similar.
    It works out they mostly buy high and sell low the bubble companies while they ride the highs and lows of consistent blue chips never selling them unless they slip out of the top 100 or whatever. All based on what they’re following as companies slip into and out of it.

  5. MirrorMirror says:

    @susan …. LOL … maybe they’ll make a new film called “PAWS” ?

    At first I thought the cat chose Morrisons for the Cat-Food and British-Gas for the Heating.

  6. susan says:


    Hi! The news is so surreal these days that we`re better off with cats and dogs running the country!

    I`m still a bit suspicious (of course) of this Bundesbank move – again, my usual question: why here, why now? Who `owns` the German Bundesbank? Are they all inter-connected, or independent? Seems very good timing, FED contract coming to an end, JW saying dollar is being side-lined, all pushing ahead for the global gold-backed currency. Is this really a *surprise* of a well-coordinated action, planned a while ago and all part of the plan?


  7. Frans says:

    How about the bonus for the cat?

  8. Bruce says:

    PhatCat exclusive:
    “I was used as a tool to promote precious metalz”
    In a shock admission, PhatCat breaks her silence about the years of torture and horrible lies – and worst of all – years of cat food.

  9. R. Freiherr v. Wackendonk says:

    JOHN STOSSEL did the same shit on 20/20 in the late 80s, throwing darts at a board of NYSE stock names vs. the top ten investment firms. Stossel’s half-assed game of darts beat out 9 out of 10 firms.

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